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Gratitude is a Super Power!

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I am grateful to be looking at gratitude yet again this blog!
Gratitude is an awesome superpower. I read recently that one of the most powerful statements you can make, feel or think is ‘thank you’. Thank you to others and yourself too.
 
It is so helpful to remember to be thankful to all those people in our lives who have been motherly, kind and caring toward us, including of course our own maternal mothers, to whom we owe so much, including our lives. Remembering to be thankful to friends, family and strangers too for the kindness they show us in all sorts of ways is powerful to promote our happiness and peace of mind. We'll talk more about gratitude for mothering kindness next blog, as it will be Mother's Day weekend. I'll be on board travelling from Canberra to Sydney!
 
It is also great to be thankful to others who give us the opportunity to be kind to them. This includes, friends, family, pets, strangers and of course our children or anyone we care for.

It's great to remember to tune into our wise selves to be kind and thankful to ourselves too. Seeing ourselves be a positive force in the world, being kind and grateful creates a happy perception. We can reinforce this goodness by being thankful to ourselves. We can be grateful to ourselves for doing our best to be a kind, positive force in the world. Remembering also to forgive ourselves and others for all those so called ‘mistakes’, more helpfully known as learning opportunities. 
 
The opportunities to extend kindness do not always come in the ways we expect and sometimes these kind acts are received without thanks. I find it helpful to thank myself, especially during those times like when I have spent a lot of time and effort doing something like making a family meal which is received with 'I don't like this!' Resting in my intention to have prepared a healthy meal and thanking myself helps to prevent resentment. A space I  have known very well. 

Sometimes extending kindness, especially as parents, can be in the form of a strong boundary like ‘please, don’t speak to me like that’, or ‘no, you can’t do that’. Such Kindness always has the intention to protect others from harm.

I can remember the need for such a strong kind boundary many years ago when I needed to enforce the ‘no sleeping with phone rule’ with my then thirteen-year-old. As I was saying goodnight to them, I discovered the phone under their bedclothes. I removed the phone and there was much subsequent protesting.  I needed to check in with my wise self to remember that my intention was to prevent harm and for them to get a good night’s sleep. I was then able to thank myself for being courageously kind, as the protests continued.  
 
More about gratitude and its awesome benefits next blog.
With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all 


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Meet My Friend, Stress

9/30/2016

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​Ever feel stressed and worried about something you have to do?  Maybe you have exams or assessments coming up or you are a parent or friend of someone who is facing upcoming VCE exams, of maybe you have a busy time at work with deadlines to meet, an interview or tricky meetings.   

Have you had thoughts like - I don't know enough, I haven't done enough work, I don't know what to do to help, I will not be able to write a good enough essay, they won't like me in the interview, I am going to fail, I might freeze and not be able to do anything.  

To be completely honest I had many of these thoughts going on myself yesterday in relation to writing these blogs around dealing with stress and worry!!  How ironic, I spent most of our grand final public holiday worried and stressed about writing good enough blogs, that included everything I wanted to share about stress and worry. I finished the first three blogs (the long play version of this blog is here Meet My Friend Stress - Long Play  if you would like to read it), which includes psychological and physiological evidence from studies etc., and a lot of stress, about including everything and getting it just right, on my part.

I woke this morning and thought what I really needed to share in this blog was a simple practical way to deal with stress on the spot. I have used this many times and find it so useful, just didn't remember to apply and share it yesterday.  

So here it is - what to do when feel the stress response kick in, in a response to a thought of worry.  
We will deal more with the worry train thoughts in the following blogs, lets concentrate on the stress response here.  

So a thought of worry starts the stress response, your heart starts to pound, your breath rate increases and you feel a surge of energy.  Our natural response to this physiological reaction is to avoid feeling it, because we think it is harmful.  We push it away, ignore it, or numb it with alcohol or drugs.  We will do anything to avoid feeling it, because we think it is the enemy.

But, is stress harmful?  No, it is only harmful if we think it is. What if instead of rejecting it, we welcomed it as a friend with a gift for us.  What is the gift you say?  The gift is reminder to pause, breathe into the present, focus and use the energy constructively. So, we can see the same response as a friend helping us prepare for action - helping us to breathe into the present, focus, and use the energy to do what we need to do, to deal with the situation at hand. When we think of the stress response as our helpful friend it gives us courage and joy.  Conversely when we see it as the enemy, it brings stress and fear.  

So next time you feel the stress response kick in with the pounding heart and increased breath rate DO..

Stress A & B.
A.  AWARE - Pounding heart, breath rate increase - here is my friend stress here to help 
B.  BREATHE - Take 3 deep breaths and come to the present.       

You may need to repeat these steps a few times and often.  But they will be very useful in helping you use the friendly stress response constructively to bring courage and joy.  

That is enough for now.  Although I am tempted to add my C and D lets wait till the coming weeks.
If you can't wait and want to read the long play, version of this blog it is available here.  But, what I would recommend is, over the next week just play with the A and B above and make stress your friend.  Simple and practical is sometimes best, and in my opinion, always less stressful 

Take a warm bath or shower
Remember to relax and breathe and let the warmth relieve the tension.  This will revive and refresh you and get you ready for focused action.  

Take a break in nature 
Go out into the fresh air and breathe - deep, full relaxing breaths.   

Take a 5 minute lie down (shavasana)
A yoga teacher of mine recommends we all do this every day, for the rest of our lives.  Simply lie down and fully relax, let go and breathe. My yoga teacher says "by dropping down, we release the issues in our tissues". Sounds easy and it is, and so restorative and relaxing.  Why not give it a go and start today and continue for the rest of your life.  

Lets look at some other gifts our friend stress brings next week.  
 
Thank you subscribers
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Have a peaceful fun and happy week
Kind regards
Maree xx ​


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