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Gratitude is a Super Power!

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I am grateful to be looking at gratitude yet again this blog!
Gratitude is an awesome superpower. I read recently that one of the most powerful statements you can make, feel or think is ‘thank you’. Thank you to others and yourself too.
 
It is so helpful to remember to be thankful to all those people in our lives who have been motherly, kind and caring toward us, including of course our own maternal mothers, to whom we owe so much, including our lives. Remembering to be thankful to friends, family and strangers too for the kindness they show us in all sorts of ways is powerful to promote our happiness and peace of mind. We'll talk more about gratitude for mothering kindness next blog, as it will be Mother's Day weekend. I'll be on board travelling from Canberra to Sydney!
 
It is also great to be thankful to others who give us the opportunity to be kind to them. This includes, friends, family, pets, strangers and of course our children or anyone we care for.

It's great to remember to tune into our wise selves to be kind and thankful to ourselves too. Seeing ourselves be a positive force in the world, being kind and grateful creates a happy perception. We can reinforce this goodness by being thankful to ourselves. We can be grateful to ourselves for doing our best to be a kind, positive force in the world. Remembering also to forgive ourselves and others for all those so called ‘mistakes’, more helpfully known as learning opportunities. 
 
The opportunities to extend kindness do not always come in the ways we expect and sometimes these kind acts are received without thanks. I find it helpful to thank myself, especially during those times like when I have spent a lot of time and effort doing something like making a family meal which is received with 'I don't like this!' Resting in my intention to have prepared a healthy meal and thanking myself helps to prevent resentment. A space I  have known very well. 

Sometimes extending kindness, especially as parents, can be in the form of a strong boundary like ‘please, don’t speak to me like that’, or ‘no, you can’t do that’. Such Kindness always has the intention to protect others from harm.

I can remember the need for such a strong kind boundary many years ago when I needed to enforce the ‘no sleeping with phone rule’ with my then thirteen-year-old. As I was saying goodnight to them, I discovered the phone under their bedclothes. I removed the phone and there was much subsequent protesting.  I needed to check in with my wise self to remember that my intention was to prevent harm and for them to get a good night’s sleep. I was then able to thank myself for being courageously kind, as the protests continued.  
 
More about gratitude and its awesome benefits next blog.
With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all 


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Mothering a Two Way Exchange!

5/9/2021

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I tend to be a very independent person, and sometimes I forget that we are all interdependent. My independence has mostly served me well, however when I take it to extremes it has some downsides. My ‘I can do it myself’ attitude often denies others the opportunity to lend a hand. And also, at times leaves that burning smell of martyr lingering in the air. Being here at the hospital with my Mum, especially on Mother’s Day, is a great opportunity to repay her immense kindness.
 
My Mum is also an independent person and loves looking after herself in her small flat. I am appreciative that she is allowing me to give her a hand at this time. It reminds me how good it feels to be able to give help when it is needed. As the quote above says 'When you help other people you help yourself. It's impossible to not feel great when you do good for other people'
 
Being in need and asking for help or allowing others to support us is very different from being needy, of demanding. Offering assistance involves being sensitive to the persons needs and wants and is not about barging in, fussing or taking control either.
 
When my kids were little and wanting to be more independent, I tried to remember to ask ‘do you need me to help you?'........ to get those shoe laces tied or shoes on the right feet. Being aware of the need to be patient and to encourage their independence and not to undermine the learning opportunity in 'giving it a go' themselves is important. 
 
So, I am doing my best to be mindful to ask for help when I am in need and offering it with awareness and sensitivity. Remembering that, sometimes others are not in a position to help when a request is made, requires understanding and maybe the need to ask someone else for assistance. We don't know what they have going on in their lives, that is preventing them from being available? Compassion to all concerned including ourselves is important.

With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all 
Maree xx
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