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Gratitude is a Super Power!

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I am grateful to be looking at gratitude yet again this blog!
Gratitude is an awesome superpower. I read recently that one of the most powerful statements you can make, feel or think is ‘thank you’. Thank you to others and yourself too.
 
It is so helpful to remember to be thankful to all those people in our lives who have been motherly, kind and caring toward us, including of course our own maternal mothers, to whom we owe so much, including our lives. Remembering to be thankful to friends, family and strangers too for the kindness they show us in all sorts of ways is powerful to promote our happiness and peace of mind. We'll talk more about gratitude for mothering kindness next blog, as it will be Mother's Day weekend. I'll be on board travelling from Canberra to Sydney!
 
It is also great to be thankful to others who give us the opportunity to be kind to them. This includes, friends, family, pets, strangers and of course our children or anyone we care for.

It's great to remember to tune into our wise selves to be kind and thankful to ourselves too. Seeing ourselves be a positive force in the world, being kind and grateful creates a happy perception. We can reinforce this goodness by being thankful to ourselves. We can be grateful to ourselves for doing our best to be a kind, positive force in the world. Remembering also to forgive ourselves and others for all those so called ‘mistakes’, more helpfully known as learning opportunities. 
 
The opportunities to extend kindness do not always come in the ways we expect and sometimes these kind acts are received without thanks. I find it helpful to thank myself, especially during those times like when I have spent a lot of time and effort doing something like making a family meal which is received with 'I don't like this!' Resting in my intention to have prepared a healthy meal and thanking myself helps to prevent resentment. A space I  have known very well. 

Sometimes extending kindness, especially as parents, can be in the form of a strong boundary like ‘please, don’t speak to me like that’, or ‘no, you can’t do that’. Such Kindness always has the intention to protect others from harm.

I can remember the need for such a strong kind boundary many years ago when I needed to enforce the ‘no sleeping with phone rule’ with my then thirteen-year-old. As I was saying goodnight to them, I discovered the phone under their bedclothes. I removed the phone and there was much subsequent protesting.  I needed to check in with my wise self to remember that my intention was to prevent harm and for them to get a good night’s sleep. I was then able to thank myself for being courageously kind, as the protests continued.  
 
More about gratitude and its awesome benefits next blog.
With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all 


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My Worst Habit

11/16/2016

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​Do you have some unhelpful habits?  Like most of us I come equipped with a colourful range of habits, some of which could do with a rethink.  For me, my most unhelpful or worst habit is busyness.

Mabel, one of our chickens, reminded me of this again last night.  Mabel laid her third spongy egg last night.  She had a bit of a wobbly day yesterday and did not put herself to bed with Myrtle, last night. We were exploring around the garden with our torches late last night trying to find her.  Finally, we found her with her nestled in the dirt, her spongy egg by her side. I tucked her up in bed with Myrtle, and reflected on what she was reminding me.  After the second spongy egg incident I had rung Patty at Eggcelent Chickens - she had told me she thought Mabel may have been stressed and rushed her egg through, not allowing for time for the shell to form properly.  OMG - that is me rushing around forgetting to take the time to recoup and rest so I can keep going.
In the 'Overcommitment, Why? The Busyness Trap' blog  I wrote about busyness and how 
  • Our society promotes busyness as something to be valued and a way to make us feel important.  So not true.
  • Often we can make ourselves very busy in order to avoid doing or distract ourselves from, what is best for us to do.  
But, no shirking my responsibility here.  For me, these days 'busyness' it is more the distraction thing. As Mabel was reminding me, I often get myself so busy doing stuff that I neglect doing what would be more helpful to do. STOP AND TAKE A REST.  

These past weeks I have found myself running around like crazy, procasta-sewing and procasta-baking.  I have been making octopus costumes, painting yellow submarines, sewing pyjamas, paper maché-ing disco balls, for our tap concert and baking chocolate cakes, biscuits and bread. I have loved doing all of this,as I so love a good crafter noon and time in the kitchen.  But, I was reminded by Mabel, often what we are best at points to what we are worst at.  So I am best at being busy (or active, as my friend Monique says) and not so good at taking a rest.  So when is it  good to be lazy or to take a rest? It is good to take a rest to refuel so I can continue to do my best to be active for others, joyfully.  So maybe some, time on the couch reading or a 5 minute recharge, is what is needed.
For me, busyness and laziness are two sides of the same 'distraction coin'. They both, prevent us from doing what needs to be done. What needs to be done can include to take a rest or prioritise doing something.  Balance is important - there are times for activity and times for rest too.  

The ancient texts on mindfulness and meditation have lists of obstacles to remaining mindful during meditation and at other times.  Number one on the list is laziness (or busyness), the others include, lack of perseverance, excessive effort and distraction.  
Interestingly the texts explain that the
  • Antidote for getting distracted or busy with less important things is to  establish priorities, and to remember that ordinary activity is endless
  • Antidote for distraction or forgetting to be mindful, is to remember what we are trying to be mindful of - to make our and others lives happier and be that positive force in the world.  
So instead of remembering what I remind others of each week in yoga, I forgot to take care of myself so I can continue to be a positive force in the world. Some things that I find helpful to remember are 
  • Remember that busyness is a state of mind we can control
  • Take a rest, so we can continue to be available for others and be that positive force in the world.  Tired, grumpy, resentful Maree is no use to anyone.  
  • Compassion. We all forget at times.  What can I learn from this situation?
  • Ask others for help (I am getting better at this) - gives them an opportunity to feel good too
  • Establish priorities
  • Be aware of distractions - both being too busy or lazy - and do your best to prioritise what needs to be done (which can include a rest)
  • Avoid multitasking 
  • Remember being busy does not make us valued or important.  Doing our best with whatever situation arises is always best. 
  • Take that 5 minute rest break during the day - at least once each and every day. 
  • Remember why we are trying to be more mindful and establish a meditation practice - to make our lives happier and be that positive force in the world
  • Doing a stock take of your time and resources and saying respectfully 'no', if you need to
  • Remember impermanence each morning (along with gratitude) so we can remember our lives are finite and to make the most of each and every day to do the best we can with whatever comes up.  That way we can live our lives without regret.
Maybe you might find it useful to add to your morning gratitude practice a reminder about impermanence and doing your best to make the most of every day.  I find this very motivating to get on and do what I need to do (including remembering to take a rest)

Feeling very grateful to share with you all.  Thank You.
I am off to take my 5 minute rest now 

Thank you subscribers
If anyone you know would benefit from receiving these blogs please ask them to subscribe to pom-melbourne here.  

Have a peaceful fun and happy week
Kind regards
Maree xx ​
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