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Gratitude is a Super Power!

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I am grateful to be looking at gratitude yet again this blog!
Gratitude is an awesome superpower. I read recently that one of the most powerful statements you can make, feel or think is ‘thank you’. Thank you to others and yourself too.
 
It is so helpful to remember to be thankful to all those people in our lives who have been motherly, kind and caring toward us, including of course our own maternal mothers, to whom we owe so much, including our lives. Remembering to be thankful to friends, family and strangers too for the kindness they show us in all sorts of ways is powerful to promote our happiness and peace of mind. We'll talk more about gratitude for mothering kindness next blog, as it will be Mother's Day weekend. I'll be on board travelling from Canberra to Sydney!
 
It is also great to be thankful to others who give us the opportunity to be kind to them. This includes, friends, family, pets, strangers and of course our children or anyone we care for.

It's great to remember to tune into our wise selves to be kind and thankful to ourselves too. Seeing ourselves be a positive force in the world, being kind and grateful creates a happy perception. We can reinforce this goodness by being thankful to ourselves. We can be grateful to ourselves for doing our best to be a kind, positive force in the world. Remembering also to forgive ourselves and others for all those so called ‘mistakes’, more helpfully known as learning opportunities. 
 
The opportunities to extend kindness do not always come in the ways we expect and sometimes these kind acts are received without thanks. I find it helpful to thank myself, especially during those times like when I have spent a lot of time and effort doing something like making a family meal which is received with 'I don't like this!' Resting in my intention to have prepared a healthy meal and thanking myself helps to prevent resentment. A space I  have known very well. 

Sometimes extending kindness, especially as parents, can be in the form of a strong boundary like ‘please, don’t speak to me like that’, or ‘no, you can’t do that’. Such Kindness always has the intention to protect others from harm.

I can remember the need for such a strong kind boundary many years ago when I needed to enforce the ‘no sleeping with phone rule’ with my then thirteen-year-old. As I was saying goodnight to them, I discovered the phone under their bedclothes. I removed the phone and there was much subsequent protesting.  I needed to check in with my wise self to remember that my intention was to prevent harm and for them to get a good night’s sleep. I was then able to thank myself for being courageously kind, as the protests continued.  
 
More about gratitude and its awesome benefits next blog.
With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all 


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Negative Nelly or Positive Polly? My choice

5/25/2016

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Ever feel caught up in negative thinking and don't know what to do about it? On the weekend I was reminded how easy it is for us to slip into negative thinking and spiral down into that place of gloom and doom. Thinking negatively is just an unhelpful habit and as we know, we can thankfully change the way we think and put a new helpful habit in its place. Of course awareness is the key, we need to be mindful of this unhelpful negative thinking habit and want to change it into a more helpful and happy way to think and be.  

A person I met on the weekend was a beautiful reminder of how destructive this habit of negative thinking can be .  And how it is tricky to be around someone who is in the habit of thinking negatively. Rather than be negative ourselves with blame and criticism we can see them as a beautiful reminder to be the change we want to see and to be more positive ourselves, and compassionate to them and their unhelpful way of thinking. Often times we do not want to be reminded about such behaviour and attempting to tell the person to 'stop being so negative and focus on the positive' can inflame the situation.  A kind, positive, playful response may be what is needed.  I watched one of my friends skilfully and playfully deal with the situation.  She said in a kind, way "come on negative Nelly, lets find Positive Polly in there." The situation lightened up and we were all able to have a bit of a laugh.

We can all be in that unhelpful spot.  But with awareness we can also get ourselves out of it too.  We are not pretending there aren't any difficulties - certainly things can be tricky at times.  But we are making a choice about how we respond when things don't go as planned.  So my 'positive Polly' friend saw my 'negative Nelly' friend as a reminder not  to let negativity take over.  There was no need to be negative or critical back but rather to have compassion for this unhelpful habit and playfully remind all that 'positive Polly' can be a choice.  Gandhi reminds us that "we must be the change we want to see in the world."  so if we want to see a positive us and our world we need to find the positives in ourselves and others and change ourselves and our world for the better.   

Maree xx
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