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Gratitude is a Super Power!

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I am grateful to be looking at gratitude yet again this blog!
Gratitude is an awesome superpower. I read recently that one of the most powerful statements you can make, feel or think is ‘thank you’. Thank you to others and yourself too.
 
It is so helpful to remember to be thankful to all those people in our lives who have been motherly, kind and caring toward us, including of course our own maternal mothers, to whom we owe so much, including our lives. Remembering to be thankful to friends, family and strangers too for the kindness they show us in all sorts of ways is powerful to promote our happiness and peace of mind. We'll talk more about gratitude for mothering kindness next blog, as it will be Mother's Day weekend. I'll be on board travelling from Canberra to Sydney!
 
It is also great to be thankful to others who give us the opportunity to be kind to them. This includes, friends, family, pets, strangers and of course our children or anyone we care for.

It's great to remember to tune into our wise selves to be kind and thankful to ourselves too. Seeing ourselves be a positive force in the world, being kind and grateful creates a happy perception. We can reinforce this goodness by being thankful to ourselves. We can be grateful to ourselves for doing our best to be a kind, positive force in the world. Remembering also to forgive ourselves and others for all those so called ‘mistakes’, more helpfully known as learning opportunities. 
 
The opportunities to extend kindness do not always come in the ways we expect and sometimes these kind acts are received without thanks. I find it helpful to thank myself, especially during those times like when I have spent a lot of time and effort doing something like making a family meal which is received with 'I don't like this!' Resting in my intention to have prepared a healthy meal and thanking myself helps to prevent resentment. A space I  have known very well. 

Sometimes extending kindness, especially as parents, can be in the form of a strong boundary like ‘please, don’t speak to me like that’, or ‘no, you can’t do that’. Such Kindness always has the intention to protect others from harm.

I can remember the need for such a strong kind boundary many years ago when I needed to enforce the ‘no sleeping with phone rule’ with my then thirteen-year-old. As I was saying goodnight to them, I discovered the phone under their bedclothes. I removed the phone and there was much subsequent protesting.  I needed to check in with my wise self to remember that my intention was to prevent harm and for them to get a good night’s sleep. I was then able to thank myself for being courageously kind, as the protests continued.  
 
More about gratitude and its awesome benefits next blog.
With love, appreciation and very best well wishes to us all 


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Thank You Past Me!

8/17/2017

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​Do you sometimes forget to be thankful to yourself? I was reminded about this recently by a younger friend of mine when she said "I was so thankful to that past me who left my room tidy before I went to Japan. It was so nice to come home to a tidy room!' It is such fun to think like this. As the Dalai Lama says 'The seed of goodness is found in the soil of appreciation', this applies to all beings, including ourselves. 

I am quite good at expressing thanks to others for their kindness yet often forget to thank a previous version of myself! We explored this idea in the 'OMGoodness the Dishwasher has been Emptied!' post where I told of my delight when one morning I discovered the dishwasher had been emptied. I thanked family members only to be told it was not them. Then I remembered it was me, I had emptied it before going to bed! I was tempted to let that self critical voice take over when it chipped in with a 'How could you have forgot that you emptied it! Thankfully I remembered not to go with that self-criticism and instead decided to be thankful to that past Maree, who the previous night had emptied the dishwasher, so the present me did not need to do it. 

The 'self' exists as a changing self conception, so we can think of a past version of ourselves and be thankful to (and kind, encouraging and supportive to) that past self, in our present mind. In the present we are being a better version of ourselves for a future version of ourselves. Maybe this sounds a little tricky to get your head around. If it does maybe all you need to remember is Abe Lincoln 'When I do good, I feel good' and do good because it feels good in the present and has future good benefits too. And again, as the Dalai Lama "the seed of goodness is found in the soil of appreciation", including appreciation for ourselves. 

The other Monday I was thankful to a past Maree who had cooked extra food and stored it in the freezer. I had my mum, aunt and cousin coming from Geelong for lunch. I had had a full and active weekend with no time for cooking. (Thanks to the reminder from my friend Monique, I am being aware to avoid the use the word 'busy' and instead use 'full and active' instead). Anyway, I was very happy to fish out all sorts of goodies from the freezer for our lunch. Thanks past Maree!  

Sometimes that past version of ourselves creates some problems for the future us too. Maybe we went on a holiday and left our room in a mess, didn't prepare enough for an exam, didn't have food in the freezer or made a mistake! It is never helpful to give this past version of ourselves a hard time, with judgment and criticism. Instead remembering to be a kind encouraging friend to ourselves with words like 'we were doing our best with what we knew at the time', learning from our so called mistakes to do a 'better best' next time and forgiving ourself and others. These ways of thinking are much more conducive to our happiness, confidence and peace of mind. 

Have a great week. Thank you all  
Kind Regards and Best Wishes 
Maree xx ​
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